Humpty Dumpty (rough draft / raw audio)

Humpty Dumpty By Madeline Walton-Hadlock This story is called Humpty Dumpty, written by Madeline Walton-Hadlock, and read by Gregory Burton. This is a LibraryCall recording. Once upon a time, there was an egg named Humpty Dumpty who lived with his 11 brothers and sisters in an egg carton on a supermarket shelf. The little eggs rested comfortably in the snug nooks of their carton, waiting for someone to take them home. While they waited, they chatted quietly about their future. “I hope the person who takes me home decorates me with colorful dyes and sequins,” said Sunny, the shiniest egg. “I think I’d make a good omelet,” said Ovid thoughtfully. “I do like cheese.” “I’d like to become a hard boiled egg,” said Shelly wistfully. “I’ve always wanted to take a nice, hot bath…” “Maybe we’ll all end up in an egg salad together!” Eggbert loved a party. Humpty did not want to be dyed different colors or flipped and filled with cheese or dunked in hot water. He did not want to be chopped into a salad with his siblings. He didn’t know what he wanted. He just knew what he absolutely did not want: he did not want his shell to crack. Just the thought of his shell cracking made his insides feel scrambled. So while his siblings dreamed of what they would one day become, Humpty sat in his container, worrying. One day, Humpty was just settling in for a nap, when he felt his egg carton begin to tilt and lift. Up, up, up he went. Ooh! His yolk suddenly felt like it was dropping to the bottom of his round belly. His brothers and sisters rattled around beside him, their little oval bodies bumping gently together. Through the thin cardboard lid of their carton, warm light flickered in. It was brighter than the cool, dim grocery shelf he was used to. What was happening? “I think someone is finally going to buy us!” said Sunny. “Hooray!!” said 11 little eggs. “Oh no,” thought Humpty. The egg carton swayed from side-to-side for a few moments. Then, with a soft thump, the eggs felt themselves placed into a bag and carried away from the store by a girl with a long brown braid. Inside the carton, Sunny sighed happily. Eggbert hummed a tune. But Humpty wobbled with worry. The bag bumped and jiggled as the girl carried it down the street, then up the steps of a little white house at the end of Big Wall Drive. The girl carried her bag into the kitchen. One by one, she unpacked her ingredients, placing them neatly in a row on a small shelf just above the countertop: a tall bag of flour that puffed when it landed, sugar in a pink box, a stick of butter wrapped in wax paper, and a jug of cold milk. Finally, she took four eggs from the carton, including Humpty, and set them beside the other ingredients. The eggs that were left in the carton cheered them on, until the carton disappeared into the fridge. The eggs on the shelf looked all around. Down below, on the counter, they saw a big cook book that lay open to a page showing a picture of a beautiful birthday cake shaped like a castle, complete with sugar turrets and frosted flags. “We’re being made into a castle?!” gasped Shelly. “No, a cake shaped like a castle. That means we’re royal ingredients,” Eggbert declared proudly. “We might even be knights on horses,” whispered Ovid. “Or queens!” said Shelly. But Humpty shivered. The shelf seemed so high, the counter so far below. He hardly noticed the recipe book or the shining picture of the castle cake. All he could think about was the dizzying drop beneath him, and how precarious he felt without his snug carton to protect him. One slip, and– No! It was too horrible to imagine! He started trying to wobble himself away from the edge of the shelf, but then suddenly, he found himself wobbling the other way instead! “Humpty, be careful!” cried Shelly. But Humpty wobbled and wobbled again, and before anyone could stop him, down he went! He toppled off the shelf, spinning through the air until—crack!—he landed on the counter next to a large mixing bowl. His shell had cracked, but just a little. The other eggs gasped. Humpty was dazed. “I hope someone will be able to put me together again,” he thought at first. The girl with the brown braid heard the noise, turned around, and spotted Humpty, cracked but safe on the counter. “Oops,” she said, smiling. “Well, that was silly of me, putting the eggs up on the shelf like that.” Then she took the other eggs off the shelf and set them gently on the countertop next to Humpty, and set about measuring the sugar and butter into a big mixing bowl. “Oooh Humpty,” said Shelly, “Look at that crack you got! I know you were scared, but that looked kind of fun. Are you okay?” “Yeah,” said Humpty, his head finally starting to clear. “I’m okay. And… it was kind of fun. I’m not sure what I was so afraid of…. Wait, did someone say something about a cake?” remembered Humpty. “Didn’t you see it?” asked Ovid, “It’s going to be so cool.” Suddenly, Humpty understood: he was going to be an egg for the special cake shaped like a castle, for a real birthday celebration! As he thought about this, his shell began to shine with pride. Being part of a cake that would make someone smile on their birthday was better than sitting in an egg carton. And now that he was already cracked, it didn’t feel scary at all. It felt important. “I get to be part of something magical,” Humpty mused. The girl picked up Humpty gently and cracked him the rest of the way, over the mixing bowl. “Wheee!” he cried, and he landed in the bowl with a plop. Shelly, Ovid, and Eggbert soon followed, and the other ingredients that were already in the bowl greeted them cheerfully. The sugar and butter swished and glistened. Humpty realized that being cracked wasn’t the end of the world. He didn’t need to be put back together at all. It was the start of a new adventure, and he was right in the middle of it. “Ooh I can’t wait till we get alllll mixed up!” said Shelly. “Wait, mixed?” Said Humpty, anxious again. “Like, stirred and scrambled?! Oooh I don’t know about this!” “Don’t worry,” said Eggbert. “It’s going to be great.” [outro music will start here] Humpty Dumpty sat on a shelf. Humpty Dumpty said to himself, “Some stories are true and some stories are fake. This story’s just about eggs in a cake.” This has been Humpty Dumpty, written by Madeline Walton-Hadlock, and read by Gregory Burton. This has been a LibraryCall recording.