Astropup and the Revenge of the Parrot

Astropup and the Revenge of the Parrot Hello, this is Richard. This is a tale of revenge. It took place quite a way from here, on the dark side of the moon. We are very fortunate to have a guest here in the Storynory studio who was an eyewitness of these extraordinary events. And so, without further ado, I will hand you over to our space-travelling friend, Astropup . If I've learned one thing on my space travels, it's that the universe is the strangest of places. You have no doubt heard the old story that the moon is made out of cheese. A silly sort of tale to tell the puppies puppies, or so you thought. But it often turns out that there is more than a juicy morsel of truth in those old legends. Let me explain. You have no doubt heard the old story that the moon is made out of cheese. A silly sort of tale to tell the puppies puppies, or so you thought. But it often turns out that there is more than a juicy morsel of truth in those old legends. Let me explain. As anyone who has been there will tell you, the moon is an exceptionally quiet place. But the listening posts at our Space Centre were picking up a sort of cosmic squeaking. That was how it started: next there were deep rumbles - it was as if the silver lady of the skies had a bad case of tummy rot. They were looking for volunteers to go and investigate. Of course no human-being was silly enough to step forth. When there's a dangerous mission to be had, the human way is to send a couple of dumb animals. Yours truly and my parrot were picked for the job. Missions to the moon are called Lunar Assignments. "Lunatic more like," squawked the parrot as we took up positions in the space ship. Cosmic squeaking, my claw. Some human scientist forgot to oil his telescope." "Well," I said, "what about the rumbles?" "I've never heard anything so daft," was all he replied. I was not so sure. Where there was a rumble, I sensed, there was bound to be danger. – some sort of large beast, or machine or… or bomb. We could hear the squeaking before we even got there. The Parrot, who did not like to be proved wrong, said: “Well of course I was only joking.” Then there was such a rumble that our whole ship shuddered and I howled: “AWH! AWH! AWWWWWW!” Even the Parrot turned a pale shade of yellow. I pressed my nose against the portal - that’s technical speak for “window.” I saw a most incredible sight. The whole surface of the moon was alive with MICE. I pressed my nose against the portal - that’s technical speak for “window.” I saw a most incredible sight. The whole surface of the moon was alive with MICE. We made our way as best we could across the surface. I leapt from boulder to boulder, until we had a clearer view. What we saw at the top of the ridge was an even more amazing site. In the distance was a range of mountains. One of them was literally blowing its top. "It's one of those volcanos," I said. "And that stuff coming out is what's called lava,” I said with pride. "More like snot you mean," squawked back the parrot. It was unusual for my friend to be so vulgar, but I had to admit, the stuff coming out of the mountain was a luminous yellow colour. There were rivers of it flowing down its sides. The mice were streaming towards them. "Let's take a closer look," said the parrot... and we bounded on over the moon until we came nearer. "That explains the mice," said the parrot as we peered over the side, "It's a giant fondue.” “Fondue?” “It’s melted cheese. No wonder the mice are going crazy. Here try some." He picked up a rock covered in yellow goo. I sniffed it and gave it a lick. Not my favourite snack, but it was cheese alright. It was erupting from the centre of the moon, and spewing out of the volcano. “You know what this means?" said the parrot. "It means," I said, "That the moon really is made of cheese after all." “Correct," said the parrot, “But normally you would not know it. The cheese is at the centre of the moon's core. These mice don’t normally come here. They’ve come from another planet especially for the cheese." "How?" I gasped. "See those," said the parrot pointing a wing at some fluffy ball like objects. "Those are their spaceships. Rodents are smart, and not to be underestimated.... and what else do you think this means...?" I looked around for clues... the volcano, the rivers of melted cheese. the mice, the fluffy spaceships... the dark skies and the light of the stars.. "I give up," I admitted. "What is the meaning of all this?" "Cats," said the Parrot. "GRRRRRR!" I said, and then, "What do you mean cats! Don't use that word lightly around me. It's the filthiest word in the universe." "It was me they tried to kill, remember?” Perhaps you heard my last story - the Day of the Cat - in which a team of cat commandos tried to take out my super intelligent bird-friend. He'd never got over that, and had been a broody little fellow ever since. This volcanic eruption of molten cheese is a feast for the mice, but the mice will be a feast for the cats." "UrrGGGH! We better warn them!" "They know the risks.... " said the parrot quietly, almost to himself. I could see that his brilliant little brain was turning something over. We went back to our ship, The parrot sat on his perch. "What's on your mind?" I asked. "Revenge," said the parrot quietly. And then, much, much louder : 'REVENGE!!!!!!!!" My feathery friend looked as mad as I had ever seen him! Some hours later I heard a rasping squark in my sleep: "They’re here!!!!!" I jumped up to my four feet and shook myself, ready for action. The parrot said in a hushed rasp: "Go to the cargo and find a box marked with a skull and crossbones. Bring it to me - but whatever you do, don't go opening it. There aren't any bones in there you know." I did as I was told and found the box. It had a handle that I could pick up in my mouth. I wondered what could be inside. It wasn't heavy. When I placed it at the foot of the parrot’s perch he hopped down onto it with a happy glint in his eyes. "Seeds?" I asked. "No, something much better," he replied. "Fleas." "FLEAS !" Now I thought he had gone completely insane. After cats, fleas are the most loathsome creatures in the universe. "I brought them along just in case," said the parrot. "Strictly against orders of course. And this is, Just IN CASE." A few minutes later, we were back on the moon. I brought the box, and another object from the hold - a sort of contraption on wheels. The parrot harnessed it to me, and I pulled it along the valley. We walked - or rather moon hopped - for some half an hour, until the parrot looked up at the stars and said: "This will be about the place." I cautiously peered over the top. There they were. About a dozen ninja cat commandos, armed with laser guns. They will be the advanced team,” said the Parrot, “Let's wait for the mother ship." So we waited. I can tell you that waiting is the worst part of any mission. You wait, and you wait, and you wait I just wanted to dart over the top of that ridge, barking at the top of my voice, and charging at the cats – but that, of course, would have been suicide. It was an hour before we felt the ground tremble. This time it was no volcanic eruption, but a huge spaceship was landing. Its doors opened, and out streamed an army of cat people. RRRRRRRR! There are not so many strays on the streets of Rome! "Fabulous!" said the parrot.He really had gone crazy, but orders are orders, and I did as he told me. I slowly advanced over the top pulling the machine behind me. The parrot picked up the box in his beak and placed it onto the machine. He told me to stop, and he undid my harness. A cat lookout had spotted us, and called out! The air was filled with the most dreadful caterwaul. A squad of five or so ninja commandos came running towards us: "Steady, steady....now!" called the parrot, and his little head darted forward and pecked a red button on the machine. It fired the box into the air until it was up above the army of cats where it detonated with a terrific bang. A cloud of fleas filled the air and gently floated down to the surface. Almost immediately the cats mewed pitifully. The cat commandos stopped in their tracks and started to scratch quite maniacally. It was a wonder to behold, but I did not want to hang around to catch one of those fleas. I turned and ran back down the valley and bounded for the space ship. The parrot fluttered after me. When we had the door of our craft safely sealed shut, we were both in stitches of laughter. Thank you Astropup. And I thought you like to know that we are going to have a short series of Astropup adventures in the near future. I understand that we are going to meet space sharks and pirates, so do look out for those stories soon on Storynory.com. For now from me Richard,....