Don't Test the Princess!

This story is called Don't Test the Princess! by Madeline Walton-Hadlock. This story is a twist on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Princess and the Pea. This is a LibraryCall recording. Once upon a time, a young prince named Maximus decided the time had come for him to marry a princess. But he wasn’t interested in marrying just any princess. He wanted to marry a truly-true princess. Maximus made a list of all the qualities he believed a truly-true princess should have. On his list he wrote, “A truly-true princess should be noble, elegant, smart, and above all, sensitive.” Prince Maximus was used to getting what he wanted. He ordered his servants to travel the wide world looking for such a princess, but she was not to be found. After a year of searching, Maximus was in low spirits. He complained to the cooks, grumped at his knights, and whined to his mother, the Queen. One night, a dreadful storm descended upon the kingdom. Thunder shook the castle walls, lightning bolts reflected in the water of the moat, and rain streamed down in torrents over the battlements. Suddenly, over the noise of the storm, Maximus heard a loud knocking at the palace gate. He was surprised to have a visitor on such a night! The Prince was curious, so he went to open the gate himself. There stood a woman with water dripping from the top of her head to the tips of her shoes. What a miserable sight she was! And yet, in spite of being soaking wet, she held her head high and spoke with confidence and ease. “Hello, my name is Princess Gwendolyn of the Royal Kingdom of Galecia. I was riding home when my horse became spooked by the thunder. He bucked me off and ran out of sight. Would you be so kind as to provide a place for me to sleep for the night? My royal guard went looking for my horse and I expect to have him back by morning.” “A princess!” thought Maximus. “She’s drenched and bedraggled, but her nobility, elegance, and smarts are still apparent. I wonder if she’s sensitive… Perhaps I will give her a little test tonight and see if fate has brought me a truly-true princess at last.” He said “How do you do? I am His Royal Highness Prince Maximus. Perhaps you have heard of me? I am quite famous. You do look… uncomfortable. I’m sure we can find a dry place for you to sleep. Follow me,” Inside the castle, Maximus ordered his servants to prepare dry clothes and supper for Gwendolyn. Once the princess was settled by the fire, Maximus snuck off to the kitchen to fetch a single green pea. He placed the tiny pea in his pocket and went to the room being prepared for Gwendolyn. Once there, he removed all the sheets and covers from the bed and placed the pea on the bare mattress. Finally, he ordered his servants to gather twenty additional mattresses from around the palace and lay them, one after the other, on top of the pea. A thick down quilt was placed on the very top of the heap. “There!” thought Maximus. “This test will tell me all I need to know. If she is a truly-true princess, she will be sensitive enough to feel that pea through 20 mattresses. A truly-true princess will not sleep comfortably here!” The next morning at breakfast, Maximus was eager to know the results of his princess test. He asked Gwendolyn, “How did you sleep last night?” He waited nervously for her reply. “Her answer will determine my future!” he thought. “Well,” said Gwendolyn. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I must admit I’m not accustomed to sleeping on such a tall tower of mattresses. In my palace, we typically find a single mattress to be sufficient. Last night, when I finished scaling the ladder to reach the top mattress, I thought I would be able to sleep comfortably enough, as long as I didn’t tumble off. However, as soon as I pulled the covers over myself, I noticed a curious sensation in my back. An item-- something every bit as hard as a stone-- was digging into my skin. This morning, the middle of my back is black and blue.” “Wonderful!” exclaimed Maximus. Not only had the princess felt the pea, she had felt it so keenly that it kept her from sleeping. “Wonderful?” said Gwendolyn. “Perhaps you missed what I said about my bruise?” “Yes!” he replied, “This news is most wonderful. Your bruise is proof of your splendid sensitivity. You have passed my test.” “Your test? What test?” said Gwendolyn, who was becoming increasingly annoyed. “My princess test, of course. Only a truly true princess would be able to feel the tiny pea I placed under your mattresses last night. You felt the pea easily, so you shall receive an A+. Now you may have the honor of marrying me.” “Marry you? Why on earth would I do that? You have purposely given me a terrible night’s sleep and left me with a sore back! I would rather cuddle with a skunk than marry you!” And with that, Princess Gwendolyn marched out of the castle, leaving behind a stunned Prince Maximus by himself. “Maybe I’ll just ask the next princess to go to dinner,” thought Maximus. The end This story was Don't Test the Princess! by Madeline Walton-Hadlock. This has been a LibraryCall recording.